it's weird how this works.

in the last few waking moments before i lay myself down to sleep,
i find myself thinking of you.
of how we used to be
of what we could have been,
of how things between us are.

even if you have blocked me out of your life,
and even if i have learned to accept that,
i find myself wishing to be with you,
to be loved by you,
to be thought of.
and i hate myself for allowing this to happen.
i'm supposed to be over you by now,
but you keep pulling me back into your trap.

trying to drive me crazy, are you?

but despite these thoughts,
these feelings,
this twisted desire to be in your arms again,
despite hating myself for being weak,
i find myself thinking.
thinking if you ever think about these things, too.
if you ever feel these things, too.
if you ever long for me, too.


and i wonder if right at this moment,
maybe.
just maybe.
you're thinking of all this.


maybe.

just maybe.

you're missing me, too.