you have stolen my heart.

and i don't think i want it back.
i'd rather sit here and feel nothing at all
than feel unloved by you.

I've accepted it. I think.

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't.

Don't try, baby
Ain't no use in tryin', baby.

i want someone who's flesh and blood.

you aren't.
so i don't want you.

GET OVER IT.

SERIOUSLY.

"it would have happened sooner or later."

yes, it would have.
so i guess better sooner than later?

is there really a perfect time to get your heart shattered into a million pieces?
was that the perfect time, then?
i guess so. since what happens is meant to happen.
right?

no regrets, really.
or at least i think so.

thank you, though.
i'm happy now.
for what it's worth, i hope you're okay.

frustration.

sometimes i think they're all right about you.
but that's only when you piss me off.
when you don't,
i love you unlike any other.
why do you have to be so irritating at times?

i love you and all
but seriously
STOP.

i'm off to say my daily prayer.
save me from this.

oh well.

there's still tomorrow.

i want to know what tomorrow holds for me, but i'm just too afraid that i'd be disappointed.
i'm just sick and tired of disappointment, and anyone who knows me well enough knows that.

i disappointed you, didn't i?
aren't you used to it yet?
or maybe you're sick of it?
join the club, dude.
i'm sick of me, too.

shocker, anyone?

shocker - two in the pink, one in the stink.
- or go two entries back, and hopefully be shocked.

someone asked, so i answered. ;)

wtf?!

HOLY. i swear after i posted the last entry, "In A Rush" played. life could be so cruel. LMAO.

it came over me in a rush.

i knew all along that i would have to make the first move so that we could get things back to normal again.
i just didn't see that 'normal' would be this hard.
i admit that i feel awkward whenever i talk to you.
well, not talk to you talk to you since we haven't talked yet in the longest time.
but it just feels different now.
it's like i don't know you anymore.
do you feel that way, too?

i'm looking forward to the day when i could tell you that i forgive you.
for now, i'm still not ready.
i know i'm taking the risk of you getting mad at me by posting this for the world to see,
but this is the only way i could ever tell you how i really feel.
all those times that we talked, i was on auto-pilot.
except for that one sunday when i poured my heart out to you,
so far, that was the only real conversation we've had.
it honestly felt great to be talking to you about our problems, about our separate lives.
i missed talking to you.
i miss spending time with you.
i really miss you.
it's not so much about the relationship anymore, you know?
it's about the friendship that we've built throughout the relationship.

you mean so much more to me that just an ex-love.
you were my best friend. i hope you know that.
i hope you knew that all along.
i'm still waiting for you.
not for you to get back with me,
but for you to be my best friend.
honestly, no one can do it better than you do.

when they all left me, you were there.
i hope at the end of the day,
you're still gonna be here for me.
because like it or not,
i can't imagine my life without you in it.

i want you to know that i'm here.
you're still my best friend.
i still care.
and i hope you're still the sean that i once knew.