believe me, i have no idea.
"what happened was meant to happen."
i know that.
but WHY did all these things have to happen?
somebody answer me.
i'm tired of watching all these unanswered questions pile up.
i've given up a lot recently.
a whole lot, in fact.
gave up my bliss (or maybe it gave up on me?),
my sanity,
damn, i even gave up trying.
it's like i've lost all hope.
i am farther away from you than i have ever been.
i'm farther from myself, too.
and at times, the thought of losing what was left after all the chaos consumes me.
--
i find myself constantly apologizing to people.
for different reasons though.
for sharing my burden with them,
for being blinded by idealistically living my life all this time,
for becoming who i am today,
and most of all, for never being good enough.
after apologizing time and time again,
i've come to realize that i forgot to apologize to one important person.
ME.
i don't deserve all this.
i deserve to be happy.
right?
i deserve to have You in my life,
to know what it feels like to wake up beside You each morning,
to have Your lips pressed close to mine,
to be the friction in Your jeans,
to live happily ever after
i deserve to have You.
the only thing that separates us is distance.
oh, and that person holding your hand.
i said it once, and i'll say it again:
trade baby blues for wide-eyed browns.
i'm supposed to love You.
and You're supposed to love me.
