We always used to have these outings. You know, the overnight ones. I probably was the most excited for them before. Until a few weeks ago when we had another one. Wasn't really up for it. I wasn't looking forward to anything. You see, I was only excited for these trips before because I'd get to spend more time with him. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to spend time with my friends, too. But he got me excited the most. The thought of being with him for over 24 hours was amazing.
So it was my first outing after the youknowwhat with youknowwho. I thought everything would be okay because my friends were there to keep me preoccupied. And then sleeping time came. And I was left there with my thoughts. I started regretting even going to that thing. When you leave me with my thoughts, this is what comes of it.
And as I sat in the darkness, I remembered how I never was alone at times like this.
I always had him.
Then I tell myself, "Drink, don't think."
And so I do.
Only this time, it's not enough.