it came over me in a rush.

i knew all along that i would have to make the first move so that we could get things back to normal again.
i just didn't see that 'normal' would be this hard.
i admit that i feel awkward whenever i talk to you.
well, not talk to you talk to you since we haven't talked yet in the longest time.
but it just feels different now.
it's like i don't know you anymore.
do you feel that way, too?

i'm looking forward to the day when i could tell you that i forgive you.
for now, i'm still not ready.
i know i'm taking the risk of you getting mad at me by posting this for the world to see,
but this is the only way i could ever tell you how i really feel.
all those times that we talked, i was on auto-pilot.
except for that one sunday when i poured my heart out to you,
so far, that was the only real conversation we've had.
it honestly felt great to be talking to you about our problems, about our separate lives.
i missed talking to you.
i miss spending time with you.
i really miss you.
it's not so much about the relationship anymore, you know?
it's about the friendship that we've built throughout the relationship.

you mean so much more to me that just an ex-love.
you were my best friend. i hope you know that.
i hope you knew that all along.
i'm still waiting for you.
not for you to get back with me,
but for you to be my best friend.
honestly, no one can do it better than you do.

when they all left me, you were there.
i hope at the end of the day,
you're still gonna be here for me.
because like it or not,
i can't imagine my life without you in it.

i want you to know that i'm here.
you're still my best friend.
i still care.
and i hope you're still the sean that i once knew.